Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Nagtag ka ba saken lately? Check mo tagboard ko. Nandun ang reply ko.:)
Every single day that pass me by, leaves me with such things that I, for myself, know that I would never forget. These things make me and my life.. let's say, more twisted. I know there are a lot of things that makes myself and everything around me seem so.. unlikely. Perhaps it's because it doesn't happen to you, but it does to me.
For the last.. what? 6 months that I have been here in States. I realized how important stepping up for yourself is. You can't always rely on someone to do this and that for you. It's not always that you'll find someone you are comfortable with. It's hard. Living through these adjustments and the things I had to compromise that is. These things doesn't happen to every person with the same age as I am. Given that, it doesn't mean.. I pity myself nor does it make me less fortunate than others. How silly it may seem but most of the time, I find myself at the center of all these chaos.. staring blankly ahead out of nowhere.
I guess, living here in States made me stronger. It made me realize lots of things like the value of true friendship which I have back in the Philippines. I was used to being around my own group. However, that doesn't make me exclusive to other people. Generally, I've been pretty nice.:) It's just that I was always used to be in my comfort zone (which are my group of friends and the people I am so comfortable with), that I never dared to step out of it. Maybe that explains why everything in here, at first, made it really hard for me.
I have learned a lot of things. I was pushed to step out of my comfort zone and plan everything ahead of me on my own. I was exposed to a lot of things and people I never met when I was studying in a private school for girls for 10-11 years. I figured out, THIS IS MY REAL WORLD. This is now the part of me. All these makes me.
I have found new friends here, but that doesn't mean that it took the place of my friends back in the Philippines. It will never be that way. It's just nice to know that I have friends form whatever race we come from, we have a lot of similarities and we enjoy the company of oneself. If you are to ask me about racism or discrimination here.. well, in my school... there is no racism but there is discrimination. However, that discrimination isn't about the race of people.. it's about being preppy, an emo, the socialites and the geeks.
As for me, I'm neither one of those. Ha. I'm just keeping it safe. Hey, it's only my 6th month. And there is clearly nothing wrong with that.:)
Belated Happy Birthday, Anj!;)
I love you and I miss you.:)
♥Wis
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Tuesday, November 07, 2006
As I was waiting for Andrew to be online, since may usapan kami and as usual, hindi na naman niya ako sinipot.:( I checked the list of my offline friends in YM. I was trying to figure out the people who really cares about me. And I found out that a lot of them really are. But only one name from the whole list bothered me. It was Marc's.
Maybe almost all of you knew the story of Marc and I abck then. Marc is one of the most reliable, respectful and SUPER nice guy friend I could ever have. I can tell him anything about everything whether it be personally or through phone lang. And once you ask him to be there or to be some place you want him to be, he's there. He's ALWAYS there. It does not only apply to me but to everyone his friends with. He makes it a point na wala siyang nadidisappoint kasi ginagawan niya ng paraan LAHAT ng bagay. And I miss it. EVERYTHING.
My relationship with Marc, him being one of my very good guy friends, was really good. We goof a lot, we laugh, you name it. I only shared a not-really-that-long-time friendship with Marc but it was one of the many unforgettable friendships I would never forget. I will always, always remember him.
Marc actually changed my way of thinking about boys. Back then, I really don't understand and I don't plan to understand the way boys act or think or whatever. Until he came into the picture, he proved me a lot of things that I shouldn't have thought beforehand. And that I should not generalize because one personality or attitude does not apply to every single guy.
Until now, I can't believe he's gone.:( I know it's been 21 months since he died, but I really really do miss him.:((
I really, really do miss you Marc. SOBRA.
♥Wis
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