Oh gee. If you're gonna be two-faced, at least make one pretty ;)

Thursday, August 31, 2006

E Lingua e Espanyol.

Spanish
I definitely LOVE Spanish class. Whoohoo! Thumbs up! :) We had a quiz but it was easy. But then we are now currently moving on conjugates which is a little harder. Conjugado is conjugates. And conjugado falso is the NON conjugates. It is really, really complicated. Tssss. But nevertheless, Spanish class is really cool. The teacher talks to us in Spanish and we are also expected to answer her in Spanish. I know what you're thinking.. Yepyep. Same as the movies. :) Kung hindi namin talaga siya maintindihan.. she'll draw, point or do the things to give us a hint. Pero yes, KAILANGAN.. speak Spanish lagi. Which is really fun. ;)

Oh and I remember. Seann is the name of my Spanish class "partner".

Chorus
For chorus class, we sang our school's fight song. I know, I know. What the heck. Right? But we HAVE TO. Rarrrr.

History
You wouldn't believe it I got a hundred percent for my first quiz in history class. Haha. Now I know where I am good at. Even though our teacher is kind of weird and annoying sometimes. I can handle it. One day at a time. Haha.

My classmates in this class are really irritating. They keep on disrupting the lessons and so on. Some are passing notes and some are... just weird enough. Ha.

Phys Ed
Our teacher let us ran the whole soccer field. Maaaan. It is hard. After that, we had passing and catching tennis balls in preparation for our class tomorrow. Wish me luck nlang sa tennis ano. Haha.

My other classes aren't really that cool to brag about so I won't mention anything about it.

SHOUTouts! ;)

Therese: Maganda ba or pangit ung Princess na artista na sinasabe mong kamukha ko? Ang swerte naman niya. Naging kamukha ko siya. Haha. Joke lang. Pero either way.. baka kamukha ko nga siya. Hindi ko kasi kilala un e. Pero a lot of people including my friends, classmates, schoolmates AND relatives are saying na kamukha ko si Sarah Geronimo.. Tinutukso pa nga nila ako dati pag dumadaan kami ng EDSA at nandun ang billboard ni Sarah Geronimo e. Anyway, tanggap ko na na MADAMI akong kamukha. Ang suswerte lang nila. Ahahaha. Joke. :) Peace. :D And thanks for reading my blog. Ako lagi kong chinecheck ung mga links ko everytime nagbblog ako. Kasama ka na dun, si Eirene pati.. Oh well, ung kay Paul.

Eirene: My Chinese lover. Haha. :)) Oo nga e. Para sa isang taong baguhan pa lang dito sa States.. pwede na rin ang mga nangyari sken. :) Um.. hindi pa ako TOTALLY nakapag-adjust. Kasi until now, sising sisi pa rin ako na nandito na ako. And super namimiss ko na barkada ko pati ang mga mall sa Pinas. Walang kwenta mga malls nila dito! Whaaaaaaaah! Nako. Pagbalik ko ng Pinas... hang-out tau. Bonding! ;)

Rus: Oo nga. Alam mo ba.. medyo hirap nga ako sa school ngaun e. Wala akong "stable" friends. I mean, friends ko sila but then.. iba pa rin db.. ibang iba sa CHICKLETS. I mean, paiba-iba kasama ko sa lunch and stuff. Pero at least db, may friends na ko. Hindi gaya ng first day ko. Parang ang ignorante ko sa lahat. Haha. Pero kinakaya ko naman. No choice e. One week pa lang.. madami pa akong chance to make friends. :) AND alam ko rin naman na nandiyan ka para sken lagi e. ;) Tsaka, tsaka. Tama ka. Mas madaling sabihan ang guys minsan. Pero siyempre, babagayan mo rin sa topic. Haha. I love you, Rus. :)

*Sorry kung dito ko na nilagay ang mga sagot ko sa inyo sa tagboard. Mahaba kasi sasabihin ko kaya ganun. Haha.

Sige, sige. Next time na lang ulit. Tutulog na ako.

♥Wis

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Il mio primo TRE giorni.

My first THREE days.

A lot of you are most probably thinking... how my very first three days in high school here in States went. Well.. not to worry. I am doing okay. :)

FIRST DAY
I don't have any idea where to go to. I was really, really nervous because I don't know anyone. As in wala talaga. I went to my homeroom class and the teacher just gave me my courses and my room numbers. I went to EACH class all by myself. I was SO ALONE. Even during our lunch break.. I was like.. "Oh my god. I am such a loser." I was sitting all alone in the caf but yeah, I met new people and it's cool.

Pagdating ko sa bahay... napaiyak talaga ako. Kasi sobrang namimiss ko na friends ko. Lalo na at nasanay ako na madami akong kasama dahil nga sa Chicklets. Tas dahil na rin wala na si ate dito para mashare ko sa kanya ang mga happenings ko. Haaaaaaai.

SECOND DAY
It was better than my first day. I spent my luch break with someone not to mention I have had new friends in each of my classes.

One more thing. It is so cool that in every school I went I have a friend who has the same birth date as mine. It's like... oh my gosh. Our parents did make out the same day as yours did. Haha. :) Kidding.. ;)

THIRD DAY
Which is actually today. Way better than the first two days. I've had met new friends.. AGAIN.

DON'T YOU WORRY. ;)
Everything IS FINE. I have met new friends. Pero siyempre, NO ONE can replace my chickies! :) Not only them but also all the friends I have in the Philippines. My new friends are not here to replace you guys. Walang makakapalit sa inyo no. They are just here to accompany me for quite some time.

Yeah. It's definitely a NEW WORLD for me. First of all.. Mixed-races -whites, blacks, latins, asians, you name it. Second, boys and girls. Hindi na siya ALL girls. Third, the ways of teaching. SOBRANG tama si Rus. Dito sa States ang REAL WORLD. You should not be too nice or else, tatapak tapakan ka lang. You have to be aggressive at times. Plus.. ang mga harutan ng mag boyfriend and girlfriend ano. Medyo.. HAYUN naman. GET SOME ROOM. Haha. You know what I mean. :) Fast-paced world. Sobrang kailangan mabilis lahat or else.. TOO BAD.

SHOUTouts

KyCzaMik: Miss ko na kayo sobra. Oo nga. Sana nandiyan kami nila Pao at Rus. Para mas naging masaya ang overnight pati na rin ang baking ng oreo cheesecake. Nako. Super namimiss ko na talaga kayo. I love you three. ;) Mmmmwah!

Eirene: Okay naman ang naging takbo ng school life ko dito so far. More updates ang ibibigay ko sau pag nag-abot tayo sa YM. Kelan pa kaya un? Haha. Sana malapit na. :) And oo. Masaya kasi parang BAGO lahat. Pero hindi rin masyado kasi nakakamiss ung mga tao diyan. Kasi siyempre iba un. And thank you. :) Alam ko naman na nandiyan ka, pati yung mga iba kong friends, para sken lagi e. Which is NICE! ;) HUG. Thank you pala sa lahat ha. ;)

Rus: Okay naman ang mga araw ko so far. :) Being happy with it! Pero mas masaya kung pati ikaw makakasama ko dito. Sayang no. Di bale. Not to worry. Okay pa naman ako. :) I love you, best. Ingat lagi. Miss na kita.

Let the rain fall down and wake my dreams. ;)

♥Wis

Sunday, August 27, 2006

This is..

my LAST night of..

MY SUMMER.

Yepyep. You heard it right. After four months of doing nothing except to bum around.. I am now finally going back to school. FINALLY. Dahil sobrang nabobore na ako dito sa bahay ano. Pero siyempre, para sken.. mixed feelings pa rin ang pagpasok ko sa school bukas. Malungkot kasi wala akong kakilala dun. But happy in a same way kasi siyempre, new start yun for me. :) New legacies to make. ;) And I know, I should start is SO right. :D Kaya feel good ako bukas. :)

Ate left for the Philippines already. Kaninang umaga lang. Sobrang malungkot ako kasi ang daming magbabago. HINDI AKO SANAY NA WALA SI ATE SA TABI KO. I've grown to what I am now because of her. Sa airport, hindi ako umiyak. Ni isang drop wala. Kasi nagpromise ako kay ate na hindi ako iiyak. Pero sobrang non-stop iyak ako kanina sa room ko. Grabe. Ang sakit lang. Wala ng mag-momotivate sken to do stuff that I like to do. Kasi honestly, hindi ako strong e. Mukha lang kasi siyempre, kailangang kayanin. Pero hindi talaga. Weak lang ako. And without ate by my side or without her near me........ parang...... ANG HIRAP. :'(

Yeah, ate and I fight a lot. Pero ganun talaga kami. And those fights even made us a LOT MORE stronger ever.

For now, I suppose I have to step up on a lot of things and learn to stand on my own two feet. Without being dependent on other people. I have to. I really have to... It's just me in my life for now. JUST FOR NOW.

♥Wis

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Yes-bah! ;)

Last Thursday, ate and I attended our LAST volleyball class. We left pretty early. Like an hour before the real departure of the class. We went ahead because we waren't really into playing volleyball that day. And man, I hate my team mates. They are all so stubborn and so unsport. They were like... "What the hell was that?!?" in an angry manner. Tas ako naman nandun lang, umiirap na talaga kasi WALA silang KWENTANG team mates nung time na un. Sorry. Pero ang immature nila for their age ha. Sorry nlang talaga. I mean.. grow-up. Ilang taon na sila.. almost all of them are like 20+. Duh. Hindi na sila bata.

Anyway, back to what I was saying. We told the coach that we already have to go. Tas nung paalis na kami. Stinop niya kami tas nakipag-shake hands siya. For doing daw a very well job for the past 10 class meetings. Then to my surprise, he gave me an award. Award for doing a great job and for not quitting even though at times medyo pretty messed up ang mga plays ko. Tas sobrang proud siya saken on what I've become. Siyempre, to be honest, kahit ako naging proud sa sarili ko. Kasi siyempre.. volleyball un no. Naging mahirap kaya un para sken. Sinabe pa niya sken na hindi lang siya ung nag-decide nun. Halos lahat ng kasama ko sa classes.. sinabe sa kanya na ako ang deserving for THE award. Naaaaaaaaks. May award na rin ako... Haha. Tas nakakahiya pa. Kasi pagka-sabit sken ng coach ko nung award, tinanggal ko agad. Sorry na. Hindi ako sanayna nasasabitan ng award e. Haha.

Ate and I fixed MY room. Actually, arranged the room. Mas bagay. Haha. Oo. After three months, kahapon lang kami nag-decide na ayusin yung room ko. Nilagay na namin yung mga decorations na binili namin sa Pinas. Tas nilagay na rin namin yung parang ginawa kong collage ng mga pictures ko with friends... nilagay ko yun for the memories! :) LAHAT ng close friends ko and naging classmates ko at siyempre.. family and some relatives. Andun. ;) Nakakatuwa. Kasi finally, ang ayos na ng room ko. Pero meron pa ring mga bagay na kulang. Still working on SOME things. :)

Speaking of relatives.. meron akong isang gustong ishare and isang gustong linawin.

Isheshare. Naka-usap ko na ang isa sa mga aking beloved pinsan na si Joeff after 6 months of NOT seeing him. Beloved ko yung lalaking yun kahit na LAGI kaming nag-aaway at nagsisigawan sa bahay namin sa Pinas. Haha. Actually, sa fights namin napapakita ang love namin para sa isa't isa. Sweet nga yung lokong yun e. Kahit papaano. Naaalala ko pa reco letter niya sken nun.. "Pinsan kita e. Kaya love na love kita. Kahit crush mo pa si *toot*". Haha. Benta talaga.

Lilinawin. Hindi ko siya boyfriend! Imposible ko siyang maging boyfriend.. dahil.. pinsan ko siya. Kaya wag kang mag-alala. Hindi mo ako dapat pagselosan no. Okay ka lang? Sayong sayo na siya no. Hindi ako makilo-agaw. Gusto mo tulungan pa kita e. Tsssssssss.. Yun? Magiging boyfriend ko yung loko kong pinsan na yun? NEVER! Haha. Peaaaace. ;) Hoy pinsan.. kung nababasa mo man to.. wag kang ma-offend. Love naman kita AS a relative e. :)

Suppose to be.. ngayon ang alis ng aking ate. Pero hindi natuloy... Naging bukas na. So mamayang hapon.. magsswimming kami. Yahoo! :)

Ang light ng feeling ko. Ewan ko kung bakit. Pero parang ang light ko na ang saya saya ko. :) It is way better for me to feel this way rather than being heavy and doomed.

If your over me, I'm already over you. If it's all been done, what is left to do. How can you hang up, if the line is dead. If you want to walk, I'm a step ahead. If your moving on, I'm already gone...

♥Wis

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Doodlilies.

I woke up SO early this morning. Only to find myself unable to really sleep well. Uh-oh. Here goes my asthma attacks again. But it wasn't really that much of an attack actually. I wasn't just able to breathe well. For a little while I felt so suffocated.

After an hour or so, I finally was able to get my sleep.. AGAIN. BUT only for a few minutes. My mom woke me up and told me it was time for me to really get up and take a nice schower and get into my casual clothes. WHY? Within just a little while, my bus WILL arrive. I don't want to be late for my orientation. And besides. Who wants to be late anyway? It IS the orientation day. No one wants to be late. Well, except for some who doesn't really care.. AT ALL.

When I arrived at my school this morning. I can see a LOT of ethnicities. Most are whites, followed by blacks, the asians->mostly chinese and the latinos and the others. Sobrang mixed talaga. Merong mga jocks, merong preppy, meron ding mga nerds. Sobrang REAL world talaga. Parang ang gulo na ewan. I am saying this coming from a pretty exclusive school for girls. Na siyempre kami medyo behaved pa. Pero ung na-witness ko ngaun. SO NOT LIKE my old school. Sobrang IBA talaga.

My morning was so fast. Goodness. First off, we were seated at the auditorium. After half an hour, we went to our homeroom rooms. Which was set by our last names. Tas binigay lang samin ung sched ng courses namin na nakalagay ung room number namin. Then we were sent off. We went to our own course rooms on our own. Sobrang nakakahilo kasi ang daming rooms tsaka ang dami namin. Not to mention, ANG LAKI ng school. And guess what? KAILANGANG makapunta kami sa next class namin within 5 minutes. Sobrang parang imposible kasi pupunta pa kami sa lockers namin to get our stuff for our next class. Tas mangangapa-ngapa pa kami ng map ng school kasi definitely, unfamiliar kami sa campus. Sobra talaga.

Think of it this way. IBA siya compared sa Pinas. Kasi yung students ung lilipat ng rooms. Hindi gaya sa Pinas na by section tas yung teacher ung pupunta sa classroom. AND wala akong for good na classmates. Halo-halo yun. Pwedeng magkakasama ang freshmen, sophomore, junior and senior. Depende sa course na binigay sau. Sobrang IBA talaga. In the simplest term, PARA SIYANG COLLEGE SA PINAS. Yung type of courses na tinetake and not to mention yung ways of teaching. Hayun naman. Gumudluck nlang sken ano. Haiiiiii.

Speaking of courses by the way, meron akong automatic 2 honors class. Sobrang BIG deal sken yun kasi sa Pinas, hirap akong makakuha ng honors. Haha. Yung dalawang honors class ko na yun... Science and Math<- both not-so-good subjects ko sa Pinas. Pero wag ka. Kung inaakala niyo na madali mag-aral dito sa States.. ako na nagsasabi.. HINDI. It depends on the school, you know.

Gaya ko. Aaminin ko maarte ako pagdating sa school na papasukan ko. Ayokong mapangit pakinggan yung school name and siyempre gusto ko yung mataas ang standards or nag-eexcel sa academics. Gaya ng Quince Orchard (ung school ko) Excellence in academics and in sports. Number two ang school ko sa BUONG Montgomery County. Next siya sa International School. Malamang International School yun e. Iba ang training. Pero dito naman sa States kahit hindi ka nag-aaral sa International school, parang International pa rin e. Kasi halo-halo rin naman. :)

Oh well, orientation lang yung kanina and I have survived it. Sana ganun din sa first day of school ko. Which is on Monday (AUG 28) by the way. Wish me luck. ;)

SHOUTouts! ;)

*I have uploaded new pictures in my multiply account. You can view them by simply going to my links and it is the first one in the list. You won't miss it. :) So check the pictures while it is still available for viewing for everyone. For I have been thinking of making my next pictures and albums to be viewed by my contacts only.

Eirene: Sobrang miss na kitang kausap sa YM. Sana mag-abot tayo one of these days.

Cza: Miss na miss na rin kita no. Yung gift mo pala sken before ako umalis ginawa kong planner cover. O db? Asteeeeeeeeg! ;)

Rus: Miss na rin kita iha.

Sa buong Chicklets: Miss na miss na miss ko na kau mga iha. Lahat kayo. Sobraaaaaaaaa. Lalo na yung mga times na magkakasama tayo lagi sa school. Kasi ngaun, medyo nasa adjustment stage ako. I love you all, chickies! :) HUG, HUG. KISS, KISS. :)

Dare to be different.

Follow your dreams.

You have to be INDEPENDENT to chase your own dreams. For you can't live a life just following other people because of your being too dependent on them. After all, you might end up chasing THEIR dreams NOT YOURS. -wisbaua. :)

♥Wis

Friday, August 18, 2006

Betcha by gally-wow. wooooow.

Haha.

Volleyball
The last three days has been my wildest-super-crazy-like-a-nightmare-days. Why you might ask? It was my Volleyball Varsity try-outs. It was like hell. No kidding. Hindi siya yung parang try-outs na sa Pilipinas na isang araw lang tas tapos na. Hindi. Not even a bit like that. Sa isang araw.. 2 sets of try-outs na - isa sa umaga, 8:30-11. At isa sa hapon, 2-4. Parehong set ang dapat mong i-attend sa isang araw. And it'll last for days even weeks or maybe even months. For as long as they can get the at least, possible volleyball varsity players. Sobrang tumodo talaga ang try-outs ano. NASHYAK AKO. Mukhang HINDI ko na nakaya banda run. Haha.

First day: MORNING - warm up namin.. 10 laps na run sa buong basketball court. After nun, strectching na. Tas ang dami pang excercises and such drills. SOBRANG huwaaaaaaat? <- ang mga pinapagawa. Walang kapagurang drills ang sinalakpak sa mga mukha namin. Walang biro. Grabe talaga. As in NEVER kang pwedeng umupo at mag-rest. Merong mga water breaks pero hindi ka pa rin pwede umupo. At sandali lang un. Siguro mga 30 seconds lang. Sobrang tumatagkaktak na yung mga pawis namin walang pakialam si coach. Tas nung patapos na.. akala namin. Lalabas nlang kami ng court tas okay na. HINDI. Pinapunta niya kami sa iba't ibang centers. Bali.. 4 centers lahat. Yung 4 centers na un - (1) sit ups, (2)push ups, (3)jump high and kick, (4)squat while leaning on the wall tas dapat hindi mo maalis ung shoulders mo sa wall.. or else. UULIT. Ang first center ko.. ung squatting. Yung mga iba hindi nila sineseryoso.. so mas napapatagal. Curse them. Haha. Tas every after two minutes sa bawat center, SPRINT naman sa buong basketball court. Pag nag-cut ka ng corners, additional laps ang ibibigay. Not to mention, KAILANGANG makapunta ka sa next center after mong matapos ang pag-sprint sa buong basketball WITHIN 20 seconds. OR ELSE.. panibagong set of laps ulit. Umexagge talaga.

NUNG AFTERNOON NAMAN - same thing. Pero nadagdagan ng isa.. Pinatakbo kami ng fire exit stairs ng school. Sobra talaga. 4 levels un no. Baba, akyat kami. Tas bawal magpahinga. UNLESS sabihin nila.. at pag pinagrest kami.. 15 seconds lang. Grabe talaga. Sobraaaaa.

Paulit-ulit lang ung cycle na un for three straight days. Hindi ko alam kung kailan mag-eend pero super nilulook forward ko na ang araw na iyon. Haha. Ba naman kasi ano. Grabe. Para kaming mga taong hindi napapagod e ano. Nung gabi nga.. super. Yung katawan ko, punong puno ng salonpas. At hindi pa naging enough un. Naglagay pa ako ng Bengay. Haha. Sobra na talaga. Pero kasi naman.. kailangan talaga nilang piliin e. Kasi.. for how many straight years, laging champion ang Quince Orchard (ang magiging school ko) pagdating sa Interschool and State mismo. So talagang... BIG TIME.

Maaaaaaaaan. Ang hirap talaga. Yung pressure laging nandun kasi every move you make talagang tinitignan nila.

Family slash Relatives
We are slowly but surely breaking apart. Sobra. The fights and the pretty quarrels. Their works and of course, THE MONEY. Arrrrrrrrgh. Sana kasi wala nlang pera para matigil na ang gulong to e. Pera, pera, pera. Lagi nlang pera. Kung hindi naman.. work, work, work OR time, time, time. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! May mas gugulo pa ba? WALA NA. Raaaaaaaaaar.

Obituary
My Tito Boy-cee died. Sigh. He was one of the very close relative of papa. And I was really sad when we heard the news that he passed away. :( Well, the second live in heaven is pretty much more like a haven than in here. Lalo na kay tito. So we were happy na rin na he found the peace he wanted.

Art
Pumunta kami ni ate sa house ng isang family friend namin na artist. Tas dapat si ate lang magpapaturo ng pag-ooil painting. Tas mukhang naikuwento niya kay tita na kinoconsider ko ang mag-interior design sa college. So binigyan ako ng book ni tita and binigyan niya ako ng a excercise. Mukhang hindi ko na-take. Pag-alis ni tita sa sun-room kung saan nandun kami.. umiyak talaga ako. Kasi naman. Hirap na hirap kaya akong mag-draw. Ni ung taong sticks nga magulo pa e. Tas biglang ipapadraw niya ako. On the spot ba ito. Hindi ko na-take. Artist pa naman si tita. So she expects the BEST when it comes to art. Sobra. Tinuruan niya akong mag-shading but definitely NOT to draw. Tsk. So hirap talaga ako. Nakaka-pressure pa naman kasi every now and then tinitignan niya ung nagawa ko. Sobraaaaa.

Nang lumaon, okay na. Natutuwa naman na ako. Tas ung output nung ginawa ko.. sabi ni tita.. "Aba. May ibubuga pala itong batang to pagdating sa art e." Tas parang ako.. Huwaaaaaaaaaaat? E napangitan nga ako sa nagawa ko e. Samantalang si tita, ate at papa (dahil sumunod siya sa bahay nila tita para mabisita si tito) nagandahan. Mind you. Once si papa ang nagsabi ng compliment.. Okay na okay un. Kasi super bihira lang siya mag-compliment. Dahil mahilig siyang mamintas. Kaya... okay na rin sken. At least, natuwa sila sa ginawa ko db.

Summer Reading
Tapos na ako sa 500+ pages na librong un. Iintindihin ko nlang ung tatlong essays tungkol dun. Then I am done. ;)

Pictures
Na-upload ko na ang mga pictures ng aking mga adventures sa comp pero hindi ko pa siya na-uupload sa multiply. Malamang, next time nlang. Pero baka this weekend mapost ko na un. Basta. Sasabihin ko sa inyo. ;)

Bisita
Meron kaming bisita na dadating ngaung gabi dito. Galing siyang Canada pero half Malaysian and half Chinese siya. Naging bisita na namin siya sa bahay namin sa Pinas. Tas ngaun yung bahay naman namin dito. Sobrang nahihiya ako sa kanya. Ewan ko ba. Nauubusan ako ng english. Haha. Kasi ba naman.. dati. Wala akong masabi sa kanya kung hindi.. "Yes", "No", "Wait". Mukha akong ewan kahit si Cha, ung pinsan ko pinagtatawanan ako. Kasi naman... ewan ko ba. Haha.

Sige na. Nandito na siya e. Kakasundo lang nila sa kanya sa airport.

Sige.

Au Revoir. ;)

... and I curse you for being so sweet and so kind.

... and I can't get you out of my dreeeeeeaams... :)

... Yes on my mind your tatooed. ;)

♥Wis

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Apology.

I know I might have hurt a lot of people with the latest entry I posted before this. And I am sorry for that. I know that you might think I am butting in. But I don't want that. When I posted that entry I was a little bit hesitant because I know that the first thing you would think is.. nangingialam na ako. BUT NO. HELL NO. I don't care about the fight. I don't care how it started. But I CARE about how it ended up like this. It could be not this hard to everyone. Although it seems to me that it's a little late for that. For I see that IT HAD HURT ALL OF YOU. In some way or another.

I am not choosing ANY side. Hindi ko kinakampihan si Eirene. And hindi ko kayo kinakampihan. Kasi nga ayokong mangialam. And for the sake of it, para hindi niyo na masabi na ganun, wala na akong icocomment about it. After THIS POST. After all, I've said what I want to say.

Sorry kung nasabihan ko kayong immature with the way you act. Alam kong naging mahirap para sa lahat sa inyo yung nangyari. Kasi nasaktan din kau in a way. At alam ko na kahit ako nasaktan ko kayo sa mga sinabe ko. And I want to say sorry for that.

Sana naiintindihan niyo rin yung lugar niya. Kasi ang hirap din naman nun. Come to think of it. Parang lahat.. AGAINST sa kanya. It's too much. Alam ko ayaw niyo din malagay sa situation na ganun. And I am not saying na mangyayari sa inyo un.. I'm just saying. Don't be hard on her. She can only take much NOT too much.

And for that. All the things regarding about it. Has already been said. And I WILL NO LONGER.. comment or post an entry about it. It's yours. And I don't mean/want to butt in, in it.

So there. I know I have hurt a lot of you. And I am sorry for that. I really am. BUT hear this well. It doesn't mean that I don't mean what I said. I meant every word I said in that post. That's why I am SO sorry that I have hurt you. I didn't really mean to.

Topic is now closed.

♥Wis

Monday, August 14, 2006

I can go on and on and on blabbing the things that I did and the places I have been when I was in Pennsylvania but I believe there is a more serious thing to share than those things.

Oh Crap! Snap, snap.

I have a friend. A friend whom I don't know in person but I can truly say that I trust her. I can share a lot of things with her. Super close ko na sa kanya kasi nga ang daming bagay na napapag-usapan namin. And that friend of mine is Eirene.

Okay, before I say anything. I just want to let you know, you guys that Eirene has nothing to do with my post. In fact hindi rin niya alam na magpopost ako ng ganito. Pero as far as I can see. It's just TOO much. The things I will and would have to say here are ALL MY OPINION. So beat it. And just read what I have to say. I know I AM NOT IN THE RIGHT PLACE TO REACT OR TO BE CONCERNED at any point of your fight/misunderstanding. But hey, she is also my friend. And it saddens me to know that she is feeling the way she feels right now.

First thing's first. FAMILY. I know how Eirene feel. There is this feeling of rejection in one way or another. I myself is feeling that way.. MOST of the time. And it doesn't mean na pag binilhan ka ng pasalubong from Hong Kong hindi ka na hate. Pero hindi ko rin sinasabe na hate talaga siya ng parents niya.. ang sinasabe ko lang nararamdaman niya yung rejection. At yung feeling of rejection na yun yung dahilang kung bakit naifeel niya na hate siya ng mga parents niya. Yun din yung rason kung bakit nasasabi niya na hate niya ang family niya. Pero hindi naman ibig sabihin nun dinidespise na niya yung pamilya niya e.

FRIENDS. Most of the time we chat.. friends ang pinag-uusapan. Friends are too important to lose. Totoo. Mahirap maka-away yung mga taong akala mo close mo tas bigla kang tatalikuran. Bigla kang iiwan. Alam ko kasi naramdaman ko na rin yun. Again, the feeling of rejection. (eirene, sasabihin ko ung napag-usapan nten about friends ha? wag kang magulat) Nafeel niya na tinatalikuran na siya ng mga super close friends niya. Yung mga tao na inaasahan niya sa lahat. Kasi merong bagong dumating. Naramdaman niya na pinalit niyo siya sa kanya.

Ang laki ng impact ng friends. Kung sira-sira.. paano magbuibuild up ung friendship? Ang hirap din nun sa part niya kasi nasanay siya na meron siyang mga friends na maaasahan through everything tas biglang may dumating. PERO HINDI KO SINASABE NA MALI NA MERONG BAGONG DUMATING OR NA MERONG PUMALIT. Kasi kailangan or dapat naman maging open sa lahat e. Kung happy kayo na kasama siya and kung komportable kayo sa kanya.. Bakit hindi, db? Sinasabe ko lang na yun ung naramdaman niya.

PERFECTION. Ang hirap maging perfect. Una, kasi wala namang taong perpekto. Pangalawa, iba iba ang "nature" ng pagiging perfect. Kasi siyempre, iba iba yung tastes and gusto nten. And para sa bawat isa.. Ang pagiging perfect yun parang halos kapareho nung kanila.

You cannot change people. Because change is their choice not yours. They can change. Sure. But not because you want them to change and be EXACTLY like you want them to. Hindi naman kasi robot ang tao e. We have feelings and emotions. Yun ang pinagkaiba ng robot sa atin. Sa situation na to, YOU DON'T KNOW HOW SHE FEELS. Kasi hindi ninyo nararamdaman yung pinagdadaanan niya ngaun. Na masasabi kong napagdaanan ko na.. (1) Yung makakita ng negative scribbles sa board. (2) Yung pinaparinggan. (3) Yung ginagawang miserable ang school life. (4) Yung naiiwan and natatalikuran ng mga kaibigan.

Let's say.. hindi ninyo alam na ganun na pala un nararamdaman niya.. Sana kinonsider ninyo na kausapin siya, na iconfront siya sa mga bagay na nararamdaman niya. But clearly, that doesn't give you the right to say whatever negative you say.

BACKSTABBING. In what way do you think she is backstabbing you? By posting entries that you are definitely guilty of? Well, THAT is HER OPININON about it. Dapat kinoconsider niyo rin yun. You might think na okay tong tao na to.. pero para sayo un. Do you think LAHAT ng tao nag-aagree sa gusto mo? Bakit hindi mo naisip na some people including her may not like the way the new-comer/ whoever acts? HINDI mo alam? It's because YOU LACK COMMUNICATION. YOU are AFRAID to be IN THE OPEN.

Communication is the key or the step for every relationship. Because relationships are for two or more people. Not only you, not just yourself. You benefit from each other.

Why backstabb anyway? When you can say it right infront of her face. Mas okay nga un e. At least naging straight ka sa tao. Mas okay un. Kaysa sa iba mo pa sinasabe na nakaka-impluwensiya sa pag-iisip nila dun sa taong binackstabb mo sa kanya.

RESPECT. Nakaninong blog ka nagpunta? Sa kanya. She has her own opinions that may not be the same as yours so learn to respect it. You might be mad as hell if someone posted negative stuff in your blog. And every single person you used to trust just starts putting up heavy negative words on you. Tell me. How would you feel if you put your shoes in that exact situation? How would you be able to survive without the true friends you used to have? Mahirap db? Yan yung nafifeel niya ngaun. EVERYTHING IS BREAKING APART. AND SHE IS HAVING A VERY HARD TIME TO FOCUS IN EVERY THING SHE WANTS TO DO. IT'S BECAUSE OF THE NEGATIVITY YOU DROPPED UNTO HER.

I am not taking sides here. I don't belong to any side. I don't know how your fight started. And I don't want to be a part of it. I just thought that you should know these things. Real and true friends know what their friends feel without it being said.

Also, in my opinion, I don't think that those negativity you are flooding in her blog is an excellent idea. Kasi para sken.. pinag-kakaisahan niyo siya. Tsaka. Yung problems na hinaharap niyo. Sa inyo lang. Hindi niyo naman kailangang ipost pa sa tagboard niya na nakikita ng LAHAT e. Hindi maganda yun para sa inyo. Kasi kayo yung lumalabas na "mean". Dahil sa mga masasakit na salita na binibitiw niyo sa kanya.

Stop this freaking shit negativity. It won't do you no good. Mas magiging miserable ka lang sa mga bagay bagay. NA GINAGAWA NIYO SA KANYA SA BAWAT NEGATIVE NA SINASABI NIYO.

Grow up. Hindi na kayo bata to do stuff like that. It is so IMMATURE. Sorry for the term but that's what I THINK.

And pag-usapan niyo nlang in private. I mean, sa school. Sa guidance councilor niyo mag-counselling kayo. Good help yun. You might save the good friendship you used to have. I'm sure you will. ALWAYS BE OPEN.

TAKE NOTE.
Hindi ako nakikigulo sa inyo. I mean, all of you and even Eirene has your own part of the story. And I don't know what it is. Kasi you have YOUR OWN SIDE. And it's just right to RESPECT each and everyone's side. LET'S BE FAIR AND SQUARE.

Relaaaaaaaaaaks. Hindi ako nanghihimasok. Kaya lang.. ang sobra na nung burden e. Ang hirap kaya nun. To go to school and to experience the same things over and over again. Sobrang hirap nun. Hindi ako nakiki-side.

I'm just saying.. GIVE THE RESPECT. Respect for whatever thing Eirene might say or have to say. Kasi hindi naman laging pareho kayo ng opinion e. Importante na maging open sa side ng iba hindi yung sa sarili lang. Sure. Minsan mag-didisagree ka sa mga opinion nila. Pero importante pa ring makinig ka. Napaka self-centered mo naman kung sarili mo lang and ung for your OWN good mo lang yung iniisip mo. THINK OF OTHERS AS WELL.

SHOUTouts.
Sorry for the people I might have hurt or offended with whatever I say. Pero I just want to speak up for myself and for my friend.

Try-outs ko na bukas for volleyball varsity. Gumudluck nlang sken. Ang aga pa naman. So mejo nakakatamad gumising para dun. Haha.

Don't hate me for whatever I say. Hate me because you know you don't have the guts to spill, meaning to say the words that you want and you know YOU SHOULD say.

♥Wis

Friday, August 11, 2006

Back to school na ito.

Sobraaaa. Kanina. Super cramming na akong bumili ng school supplies. ALTOUGH sa Aug 28 pa ang first day ko. Ahahaha. Si mama kasi e. Gusto niya isabay na sa pamimili ng mga pasalubong. Sobrang.. tatlong oras na tuloy tuloy and non-stop lakad kaming nag-iikot sa mall. Grabe na iyon. Tas si mama pa. Once shopping, shopping na talaga. Todo. Kahit hindi kailangan, kukunin or ipipilit. Tas nawala pa ako kanina. Yung tipong ilang beses kong inikot ung floor ng mall na iyon, hindi ko nakita si ate at mama. At hindi man lang nila namalayan na wala na ako sa kanila. Sabihin niyo ka nga saken.. tama ba yun? HINDI! Pero okay lang. Na-explore ko ang floor. Pero sa totoo lang, mangiyak-ngiyak na ako kanina nung hindi ko talaga sila makita. Haha. Parang bata. Pero totoo. Natakot ako.

Nagpunta din kami sa isang medical clinic kanina. Kasi kailangan ko para dun sa form na kailangang ma-sign ng isang medical practicioner para pwede akong mag-try outs for volleyball sa tuesday. Yepyep. Narinig niyo ako. Mag-ttry outs ako. Bakit? HINDI KO RIN ALAM. Haha. Naisip ko lang na.. what the heck. E di mag-try. Kung hindi pumasa.. so what. No big deal. Hindi ko naman SUPER sineseryoso ang volleyball e. Pero interesting siya and fun ilaro. Kaya gusto ko. :)

Grabe. Nasesense ko na ang pagiging student ko ulit. After ng 4 na buwang bakasyon. Super. Binabasa ko na yung kailangan kong basahin na non-fiction na book para sa history reaction paper ko na due sa September. Inaayos ko na yung school stuff ko. Sobrang wipe-out, planado ko na ang whole year ko. Well, at least ang mga first months ko. Aaaaaaaaat.. Inaayos ko na ang room ko. Whahahaha. Sa wakas na isip ko rin. Ahahahaha.

Pupunta kami ng Pensylvannia bukas. Hershey Farm here I come. ;)

Yesyes. Pupunta kami sa Hershey farm BUKAS. Na-eexcite na ako. Ahahaha. Madaming chocolates na naman ang maiuuwi ko. Ahahahahaha.

O siya, siya. Kanina pa ako pinapatulog ng aking mother dearest. Uupdate ko nlang kayo sa latest chika at drama ng aking buhay sa susunod na araw. :)

*Inaayos ko ang aking multiply site. At hanggang ngayon ay hindi ko pa rin siya tapos. Oh well, matatapos ko na rin sooner or later. Ahahaha. Now I am talking nonsense. Anyway, as I was saying.. hindi pa nga tapos. PERO meron akong 3 or 2 albums na bagong pinost. So check niyo nlang pag nagkaroon kayo ng time. Okay?

Muchos gracias. Adios amigos, amigas. :) <-aba. spanish ayun ha. natututo na ang iha. ahahaha.

From your fears, you have to wean yourself. It's all or nothing. GIVE YOUR EVERYTHING.

And I'll love you with all that I am. ;)

♥Wis

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Let me out of the Shitty-hole.

So many things are still left unsaid. Sometimes I think it is way better if it's left that way rather than be on the open and a lot of things would turn out badly. Sigh. Pero still. I want to know the rest of the story to be sure. And I still had a lot of catching up to do in that part. I know, I know. I don't take sides. That, I want to be clear of. I don't prefer someone just because mas matagal ko na siyang nakilala and so on. So don't give me that shit.

It saddens me of how things have turn out to be. It isn't the way I wanted it to be and I know I can't change it. Not a bit, not at all. I just have to live with it for now. Well, until I am 21 years of age. I know I already have told you about it. If you have read my recent posts. I am so freakin excited to be 21. It's as if I am like a freed bird then. Out of this not-so-happy nor idealistic world for me. I want to make my own happy, ideal and close-to-perfect world. I know I can do that once I am of my legal age in which I can do WHATEVER I want to do.

I am also unhappy of what seemed to be the best decision my sister had made. It hurts me to see her suffer or sad because of THAT boy. I know they love each other dearly but hey, IT IS JUST NOT RIGHT. Well, that's only for now. Maybe in the near future.. IT MIGHT BE..

Enough said.

Six-zero.

Haaaaaaappy. :) Ateneo is leading the charts of it's performance for this year's UAAP season. Unbeaten slate for the first round. Now that's a BIG news. :) Yeeeeeeha! ;)

Ateneo cheer. Fight A! (clap, clap) Fight T! (clap, clap) Fight E! Fight N! Fight E! Fight O! Fight Blue! (clap, clap) Fight White! (clap, clap) The blue and white will go and fight! (clap, clap) Boom-rarah! (clap, clap) Boom-rarah! (clap, clap) Boome-rarah! (clap, clap) repeat all excpet Boom-rarah! :)

Hopefully, they'll continue to press the said performance until the end of the season. Wish I was there to watch their every game. Just like before.

Take Note.

Meron na akong Chinese lover. ...Si Eirene. :) (okay, okay. pasok translator. ahahaha)

Relaaaaaaaks. Walang lesbo saming dalawa. :) It's only for fun. :D Napag-usapana kasi namin ang Chinese language and dumating sa part na bigla kong nasabi na.. ayokong aralin ang Chines kasi ang hirap ang daming characters. Tas sinabe ko, pag nagkaroon ako ng Chinese lover.. kelangan ko pa ng translator. Haha. And sabe niya.. siya daw. So that is the reason why she became my Chinese lover and I became her Halo-halo lover. Haha. :))

I am left with only barely 6 days to practice for my volleyball try-outs on the fifteenth. AND barely 13 days after that to get ready for my first day of school.

That is all for now. I still hab to estudy the shitty Estados Unidos history. Gumudluck nlang talaga sken.

Now I should get a life. A happy and enchanting life. ;) Too bad it ain't easy. Nothing comes too easy. Now that's tough and a reality about life.

♥Wis

Friday, August 04, 2006

Let LIVE thy happy LIFE. :D

I was able to chat with a lot of people last wednesday. Sobrang dami. Nalilito na ako sa i-oopen kong window. Kaya sorry sa mga naka-chat ko na medyo matagal ang mga reply ko ng mga oras na un. Bawi ako sa inyo next time. Lalo na sau, Cza.. super sorry....

My volleyball class last night wasn't good. NOT AT ALL. It's because of the stupid-brat Jeffrey. I don't really like him. He is this so proud and stubborn middle-aged blonde man. He pisses me off. Not only me but ALL of my other "classmates". HE WALKED OUT OF OUR CLASS WHILE WE WERE STILL PLAYING THE GAME. How insensitive is that. Hindi man lang niya inisip ung naramdaman ng coach namin. All of us was like... "What the HELL was that al ABOUT?" That's what all of us were left to say.

Enough about that.. change topic. :D

Want to know something? I really am NOT INTO poetry. It isn't even appealing nor fun for me. That is what I would tell myself. I survived my grade school english classes from passing TERRIBLE different forms of poetry. THAT WAS THEN. NOW, It is WAY DIFFERENT. I like poetry. I may not seem to be the goody, goody one who will make the best poems.. but yeah, I LIKE MAKING POEMS. That started about 5 months ago. Out of nowhere. True. OUT OF NOWHERE. I was texting someone and I was too mad and I was texting ALL i want to say. Then I checked my sent items and woaaaah. It is sort of a poem. Then, that's it. From then, I would make it a point that I make poems.. A LOT of it. Yeah, I would say that. Even Ate Charl, know that. Saken pa siya nagpagawa ng poem para sa project niya before.

Speaking of poetry, the other night.. I got inspired and got a pen and a yellow pad and started writing and writing. From time to time, I would cross out words/lines/phrases. If I am NOT contented with it, I would crumple it and throw it straight to the garbage bin. So by that night, less than an hour.. I was able to make TWO poems. I am really really not good at making one, but I did have fun from making these. So I hope YOU would LIKE it YOURSELF. ;)

my first poem. chances are for real. :D

eversince we started going out,
i felt something deep inside
not was it just ordinary
it was something i couldn't explain
and i somehow know that is is for real.

from that moment on,
i could not stop thinking of you,
of how many what ifs
which led me to the decision
of confronting you with what i feel.

and so with all the courage,
i took the chance,
the chance that i would never ever regret
which also turned out to be something beautiful and big.
it is all in the matter of taking chances.

from taking chances,
come bigger responsibilities
and new lessons to learn from
which molded us and made us even stronger
stronger in every single way.

from that chance.. came something more beautiful.. us. ;)

my second poem.the way you make me feel. :D
i love the way you smile
and the way you do your hair.
i love the way you make me laugh
from your jokes come a good and big grin.

i love it when you make time for me
to make me feel even more satisfied.
i just love everything about you
and everything you are all about. ;)

i hate you when your TOO busy,
i hate it when you don't call me
after a fight - big or small
i hate it even more when you choose bball over me.

i hate it when i feel like i am losing you
which even hurts if it's because of a girl
i hate it when you make me feel unimportant,
unwanted and useless.

although, you see..
there is really nothing to hate you.
not a thing.
nothing at all.
nothing.

i love the way you like and love me
i love you and will always be
i love the way you make me feel
from the very second,
you have loved me. ;)
the way you make me feel..
something so real,
so beautiful and enchanting.

i love the way you make me feel..
something so special,
and i know IS uncomparable.

and those two are what i love the best..
the whole package of you. ;)

So those are the two poems which I have been able to write. :) It is NOT that good I know, but it's okay for me though might be terrible for you. Haha. I know. :D But hey, I am still not a professional poet. I am still left with a lot and long years to prove myself to become one. :)

Tommorow, we will go to Rehoboth. It is a nice beach in Delaware. We will spend the weekend there with ate's friend, Ate Jonah. Excited na ako. Whooooohooo! ;) Who knows I might be able to write a poem with a subject related to the beach. Hmmm.. We'll see. ;)

August 15, it will be the start of practices for our school's volleyball practice. From that practice, they will choose those who are IN for VOLLEYBALL VARSITY and for those who are IN for JUNIOR VARSITY. The difference is that.. the VARSITY itself will be the ones who will play for the inter-school and inter-state competitions. The JUNIOR VARSITY is the ones who will be substituting people from THE VARSITY who will not be able to play because of.. i don't know.. whatever.

August 26, ate will go back to the Philippines. She will fix her Australian visa because she will leave for Australia to study there for maybe a year or two.. Exchange student siya e. But she is hoping she could also get the scholarship program in India. Actually, she prefers India than Australia. Kayang kaya niya un. :D

13 days AFTER the start of the practice for the volleyball varsities OR shall we say, August 28.. it will be my FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL. Gumudluck nlang talaga sken. Hopefully, I will have good friends by then. Para naman maka-relax na ako sa pagpasok ko, kahit papaano.

Okay, okay. Alam kong madami akong nasasabihan na gusto ko ng mamatay.. pero sa totoo lang.. TAKOT AKONG MAMATAY no. Kasi.. hindi ko alam. Naalala ko pa ung mga times na nasusugod ako sa ospital tas sinasabe nila IN DANGER daw ako. Nagpapanic na ako. Lalo na ung time na muntikan na akong magka-dengue. Tas panick attack na si papa. Grabe. Nung papunta kami sa ospital, sa car.. Umiiyak na ako. Kasi iniisip ko.. "What if.. eto na ung last time kong makikita lahat ng to". Tas mga kapatid ko and mga pinsan ko.. natatakot din. Bastaaa. Graaaabe. Hindi pa talaga ako ready mamatay. Un ung totoo.

I am loving this new positive thinking about things, about my life. Almost about everything. It makes me worry less and makes me even happier, lighter and less hassled person. ;) Hindi na ako nagpapanick and hindi ko na iniisip ung negative thngs na pwedeng mangyari sken. POSITIVE THINGS FIRST. ;) :D

"Too many walls have been shattered between us. If you refuse to give in, I refuse to give up."

♥Wis