Oh gee. If you're gonna be two-faced, at least make one pretty ;)

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Sigh. My dad and I fought. Actually, hindi siya away talaga. Pero nagkasagutan kami kaya nag-walk out nlang ako. The sad thing is.. Hindi nakialam si mama. Parang for her okay lang na ganunin ako ni papa. :(

Hindi ko na kaya e. I mean. Hindi ko na alam gagawin ko. Ano ba gusto nila? Maging robot na lang ako and forever maging sunod sunuran sa kanya? Kulang na nga lang maging robot talaga ako e. Hai. Almost all my life.. Sila sinusunod ko. Even if I don't want what they want me to do. Kasi for my own good daw and all. Okay. Fine. Dad ko siya so may right siya na makialam saken. Pero sobra na. Parang laging hot-headed siya sken.. pero when it comes to ate.. hindi naman. They keep on comparing me with someone else na hindi naman at imposible naman maging ako.

Hindi ko na siya maintindihan. And you know what? Pagod na rin ako na intindihin siya e. Almost all my life un na ginagawa ko. Don't I deserve to be happy. Ayan na naman sila.. They keep on bragging how lucky I am and so blessed. Sige. Provided.. blessed nga ako sa napakadaming bagay.. but they realize how much impact they put on pressuring me to be the BEST? I am trying slash doing my best I can be.. for his information. Nakakainis. He don't understand me. He don't get me and he doesn't want to get me. Hindi siya gumagawa ng effort. Now tell me.. paano ko malalapit sarili ko sa kanya? :'( Ang hirap.

Oh. And one more thing. He didn't walk up to my room and said his sorry. Nung magkakaron na ko ng guts to say my sorry.. Slam. Close na ung door ni papa. :( He didn't said sorry. Yun ung masakit. :( Kasi usually, pag ganun. Aakyat siya sa room ko tas magsosorry siya and give me encouraging words to move on or to let the bad feelings and the ego of it out. Tonight was different. :( Good thing may work si papa bukas. I won't see him most of the day. Kasi.. work, work, work ulit siya. Sigh.

I told you my life is as complicated as most things in life. It's full of crap and I know sometimes, even shit. Although sometimes, things turn out good which will be most likely cherished by me and I guess the rest of my family.

Oh man. I am breaking down. I am falling apart into someone I was before.. a girl who is truly WEAK on everything. :'( *sniff, sniff. I hope there's a better tomorrow for me and my dad, of course.

Oh and yeah, I have to admit. I still love him. Although I have sort of hated him earlier. Nothing changed. I still love him and after all, I am still proud he is my dad..

♥Wis

*The bum

Luisa Angela Baua. Wis.October 10. HS student. Youngest of three. Chicklet.

I WANT TO.. be loved and to travel the whole world.

ACHIEVED.. pretty much a lot of things and learned from every mistake I did.

GREATEST FEAR.. to be alone.

I BELIEVE THE FACT.. that it takes one to know one.

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THE Past

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