Sunday, July 24, 2005

i can't find myself. i am lost. TOTALLY LOST. i wish i can bring back the time when everything was going so well and so fine. :C


many people are saying that i am so blessed. blessed in a way that i can travel to other countries and i was able to get most of the things i want. but you know what, come to think of it.. i'm not really that blessed. lahat ng galaw ko, pinapansin ng dad ko. bawat alis ko, susundan ng mom ko. don't they trust me? there's something inside of me that's missing. a lot of pieces to be put together just like a puzzle. reality is.. i'm not happy.


yeah, i can go to places i have never imagined i can go to but still i lack something. I LACK ATTENTION. attention that i need from my parents. i know they love me so much that's why they are so strict and protective of me. but i can't take it anymore. mas mahalaga pa work nila sa states eh. nandun na ko. they work SO HARD to give me and my two other siblings a better future.. pero, nawawala na sila samin eh. nakuha na sila ng work nila.. :C everytime i go to mass, i miss them. sana kasama ko sila.. pero, hindi eh. one solution that came to my mind para makasama ko ulit parents ko, was to study there. pero, ayaw ng dad ko. :C i don't get the point kung bakit ayaw niya ko mag-aral dun. pero before, siya pa nagsabi sakin na huwag masyado ma-attach sa friends ko kasi sooner or later, pupunta na daw ako sa states.. labo talaga ng buhay ko.


i guess a lot of people know me as - gimikera. ung laging wala sa house. well honestly, the reason why i LOVE to go out was because, staying in the house sucks. wala kasama. puro maids lang namin. mas close ko na nga ata mga maids namin kaysa sa parents ko eh. :C lahat ng maids namin, alam kung sino crush ko. pero sa parents ko, wala akong time para mashare sa kanila un eh. :C anyway, as i was saying, staying in the house sucks. bakit? kasi wala si mama, si papa, si ate or si kuya.. tignan nio ha.. si mama and si papa, nasa states. sa house namin dun. si ate, mai dorm na kasi intern na siya, mahirap na daw umuwi sa house ng araw araw. si kuya, nasa states. nag-aaral maging pilot.. so, ano natira para sakin? mga maids.. saya ng buhay.. db? I MISS MY PARENTS SO,SO MUCH!!!


so don't think that i'm lucky or blessed with the life i have.. dahil nakukuha ko karamihan ng gusto ko. kasi ang totoo, HINDI! if there's a choice whether for me to live or to die.. i'd rather choose dying than living a miserable and unlucky life. :C

♥Wis
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*The bum


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Luisa Angela Baua. Wis.October 10. HS student. Youngest of three. Chicklet.

I WANT TO.. be loved and to travel the whole world.

ACHIEVED.. pretty much a lot of things and learned from every mistake I did.

GREATEST FEAR.. to be alone.

I BELIEVE THE FACT.. that it takes one to know one.


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